Let’s say that Bill, Richard, Joe and Tom –average white Americans — had dinner at Bill’s house. They are polishing off a slice of chocolate cake with their coffee and for some inexplicable reason (or perhaps there was a television talking head in the background) the conversation moved past football and the cost of living to that of immigration. The first result of that shift was that Tom immediately remembered he had somewhere to go, something to do, and exited stage left.
After some extended back and forth, Joe announced that he too must leave, but for what it was worth before departing would, ala a good interviewer or reporter, summarize some of the questions and observations he had heard:
*Isn’t it true that when a “Jim” loses his job, he alleges that “Juan” took it, even though the connecting dots between the claim and the fact are impossible to discern.
*Because a given illegal immigrant committed a heinous crime, we must tighten the border. If this were a logical reaction, from the individual to the group, we would have to tighten county borders throughout the country.
*Do we really want to boot people from the country who have been here many years not only without disturbing our lifestyles but actually enhancing them through the many services often provided by these individuals?
*Is it true that the resident population of the USA is not growing, that we need more people?
*Why can’t people can enter our country the “right way?”
*Are conditions really that bad in the countries people are leaving?
*Are we talking amnesty again? What happened to Reagan’s promise?
*Doesn’t the Statue of Liberty say something about taking in troubled people?
And then, as Joe is leaving, Bill’s son Frank, your standard directionless eighteen year-old, his video game finished, pops his head in to announce, “Hey, I can make $50,000 plus bonuses if I become an ICE agent. How cool is that!”
Bill and Richard struggled to respond to Frank and his uncomplicated exuberance. When Frank had grabbed a sandwich and a bottle of beer and returned to his room, Bill expressed the thought that perhaps it would be helpful to have a “Meet your Illegal Alien Day.” Richard had no special reaction but he agreed to meet Bill the following morning to see what he had in mind.
Bill decided to structure the day in the following manner:
STOP ONE: MAIN STREET CAFÉ
Bill: Good Morning Richard. We have a full day ahead of us. Did you have your coffee?
Richard: Yes. It was delicious.
Bill: Was it Colombian or maybe from Venezuela?
Richard: Not sure.
Bill: Do you know if people working on the coffee plantations earn a living wage?
Richard: Darned if I know. Are some of them crossing our border without papers?
Bill: Who knows, but we do like their coffee.
STOP TWO:
Bill: Are you ready for our meeting with the Shotwell Roofing Company?
Richard: Yes, my house definitely needs a new roof, otherwise my insurance will skyrocket.
Bill: Where do you get your roofers, Mr. Shotwell?
Shotwell: They’re mostly from Central America. Okay, before you ask, many are undocumented.
The white guys we tried were terrible about showing up on time and doing a full day’s work.
Is that a problem, Richard?
Richard: Nah; I must have a new roof.
Shotwell: Here’s the paperwork; we’ll get started on Monday
STOP THREE:
Richard: Hey, I’m starved. Let’s go to that Mexican place for some tacos.
Bill: Didn’t it get raided recently?
Richard: They took a cook and a dishwasher. No big deal. Easy to replace positions.
Bill: Okay, let’s go.
(After the meal) Richard: Man, that was delicious.
Bill: Even the lettuce picked by the Mexicans in California? Just kidding. I got the check.
Server: ICE grabbed two people who had been in the country for 12 years, zero criminal record, married, kids in school.
Richard: I thought they only were after the bad guys.
Server: Calling earth!
Richard: I’m stuffed. Let’s go.
STOP FOUR:
Bill: We have to talk with your landscaper about the area around your pool. What’s his name?
Richard: Uh, let me think. Probably Jose.
Javier: Hello Mr. Richard.
Richard: Who are the other guys?
Javier: Juan and Camilo. They’re my crew.
Richard: OK. Modelo for everyone if you are done by 4pm.
Bill: How did you hear about your landscaper?
Richard: My friend Sam. He’s the owner of Essential Parts, a local factory that employs 85 workers, a large percentage of which are Hispanic, many new to the country.
Bill: Does he discriminate?
Richard: No way. He always gets their names and social security numbers.
Bill: Where do his parts go?
Richard: Electronics, phones, defense, airframes – they all have an Essential Part. Sam is so proud of coining the company name.
STOP FIVE:
Bill: Time to go; we are scheduled to visit the Anywhere Engineering facility.
Bill: Hi Adrian: good to see you are alive and well after that dust-up with your credentials. Say hello to my friend Richard.
Adrian: Hello, Richard. It was no fun Bill, a complete run through of walking into the USA, studying English, eventually getting a job and a teacher’s credential, then later starting this business. It was only when Boeing, one of my big customers, threw its weight around that I was free of harassment. By the way, did you check the background of Nobel Prize winners in the scientific categories: there is a heavy representation of immigrants attracted here for education, study, and accomplishment.
Richard: That’s all above my head. How do you feel about cracking down on alleged criminals?
Adrian: All for it; if due process finds them guilty, lock them up.
STOP SIX:
Bill: Last stop, Richard, I want to get inside that beautiful house of yours and see if Maria did a good cleaning job. You’ve been bragging about her.
Richard: She’s great. I’ve used her for over a year… trust her completely. She now has a key.
Bill: Where is she from?
Richard: Merry Maids sent her.
**
Excluding Bill and Richard, whose families presumptively came to this country some years ago, which person referenced above, directly or obliquely, should be labeled an “Illegal Alien.” Which of them should be deleted from any interaction with the four guys? Which should be apprehended by Frank and receive your tax money for doing so?