A beautiful day in my life: May 5, 2025
“Thank you again for everything, Bob. Your friendship and your support mean more to me than I can say. I don’t know that I could have persevered without the motivation. I’ll forever be grateful for you.”
(At 50+, with a full-time job and a large family, she had graduated law school.)
**
I told her that paying for the books was part of the deal to support her ESL classes. Then I slid two twenty-dollar bills across the counter of the small restaurant where she worked at night, her day job being at a clothing factory. She turned her head, tears beginning to be evident. “I want to cry.”
**
(My eulogy on the passing of Aunt Muriel, a beautiful relationship ended quietly.)
The relationship Aunt Muriel and I enjoyed made no obvious sense and yet was completely logical.
I treasured her curiosity, her desire to learn, her quest to find out the meaning of life.
I learned from her, including some things I never thought to be curious about, like the unavailability of condoms in Massachusetts when she and Dick got married. And that she was a brat as a kid.
Decades ago, we had an argument about abortion. Those were the days when people could disagree and remain steadfast friends, totally unlike today’s world.
We talked about her trips, to Bermuda to ride mopeds and sleeping on the floor in Morocco.
We discussed politics and very little about religion, thank God.
And virtually every time, there were updates on our respective families.
When I walked into her room this past December, she immediately asked me to explain AI.
Her closing question that same day, after one of our typical four-hour conversations, was simply “nature or nurture”?
As I think about Aunt Muriel, it is worth remembering that love is not inherently a function of blood, nor of law. Love is of the heart and the mind and the connection between two people.
I will miss Aunt Muriel and our connection.
**
From an Irish gravestone inscription: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”