Below is a compilation of my monthly e-mail birthday wishes for 2024.

 I have modified the graphics to make it easier to read and have used a common font.

Each card closed with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and “Peace, Bob.”

 

January: According to my snow shovel index – how many times in this part of New Jersey I must move the white stuff to get to my car – the world is getting warmer.  For confirmation, you might want to read “Ministry for the Future.”

 

In fact, it will seem counterintuitive, because you might be wearing a winter coat at the moment, but you and your loved ones must learn how to swim.

 

The seaside resorts of your grandchildren’s ideation will be completely under water, New Jersey will have a temperature like Texas, and — yipes, no mas, the whole deal about our environmental destruction is too depressing.

 

My good, always positive, friend is whispering in my ear, “this is a birthday card, not an invitation to a wake, so lighten up willya.” Always obedient to her requests (well, maybe not always; actually, she would say, “rarely”), I hereby wish you the greatest of all birthdays, a day full of food, legal beverages, and good cheer from friends and family.

 

February: Yes, there are famous birthdays and school days off and perhaps snow in the Northeast, but – February belongs to the heart.

 

In years past, you might have passed a little note to the cute kid in front of you in fourth grade, “would you be my Valentine?”  Today, you can post your heartfelt love on social media and it has all the intimacy of a drive through at McDonald’s.

 

Perhaps if it is a uniquely creative message and goes viral, it gets monetized somehow. Don’t ask – I’m lost in this Brave New World. All I know is that “caring is sharing.”

 

I care about you and I share my good wishes for a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  

 

March: According to a reputable survey, 25% of us are optimistic “about the institution of marriage and the family,” 29% do not identify as being optimistic or pessimistic, while 6% provided no response. OK, I refuse to do the math which indicates the much larger percentage that is pessimistic. My friend would scold me for being negative. Besides, this has nothing to do with the month of March.

 

Moving right along, Daylight Saving Time begins in the wee hours of the 10^th. St. Patrick’s Day is a week later, on a Sunday, which means the drinking will have a day’s head start. Spring comes to life 48 hours after the beer has stopped flowing.  Palm Sunday follows, as do many school vacation weeks. Easter is on the last day of the month.

 

Leaving all of this aside, today is a truly important personal date. It is when you departed the shelter of your mother and entered into the real world, the one with innumerable opportunities and challenges. Happy Birthday!

 

April: Mr. Trump has decided not to run for the oval office. Something about not being able to remember names, places, dates, facts. Uh wait, President Biden has likewise decided not to run; stunningly he cited the very same memory challenges.

 

Instead, it will be Haley versus Harris. An extensive information kit is now available to the public since a great number of people only know the Tik Tok description of these two individuals. On their tickets as Vice-President running mates will be a Completely Unknown and a Relatively Unknown, respectively. Nominations are being sought.

 

Reflecting this news, celebrations are breaking out among voters of all persuasions. They clearly prefer a blank page to a scribbled, unreadable page. On this, your birthday, why not join your friends and colleagues and toast the new political line-up.  (My missive evolved like this: I looked at the April calendar and saw nothing happening except on day one, so I let its foolish theme become my message for the month. Cheers!)

 

May: Warm weather comes to us in the North. The first of the month is International Workers Day, which has a long and interesting history. In the USA, unionization is now of growing interest, from demanding barista jobs to monotonous warehouse positions to new areas of college life. In the belief of many people, unions not only are relevant to compensation and working conditions, they connect to a broader sense of community.

 

Mother’s Day is the mid-month holiday feature. Only curmudgeons would gripe that it gets much more attention than Father’s Day. But then where would we be without her exceptional contribution. Memorial Day brings to mind the sacrifices of those who gave their lives so we could stay free. Remembering and celebrating can be, should be simultaneous activities:

Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

June: Your birthday month has many notable dates. Memorial Day may mark the informal beginning of Summer, but the actual first day is June 20, immediately followed by a full moon. Prior days of significance include June 13, the last day of school for New Jersey students. According to my granddaughter Faith, everybody leaves happy except for departing seniors.

 

Flag Day honors the adoption of the American Flag. Some 48 hours later, it’s Father’s Day.

Juneteenth is a federal holiday; it signifies when the last slave received word they had been emancipated by President Lincoln.

 

Lots to celebrate in June, especially your special day. Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

July: When a person acts against their apparent self-interest, one takes incremental notice, and, not infrequently, applauds that individual. In this month of our country’s birthday,

there are two people who could recognize reality  and demonstrate their true patriotism.

 

The cognitively challenged Democratic candidate could bow out of the presidential race

and be appropriately recognized, not only for this decision, but for his lifetime of meritorious political service. The veracity challenged Republican candidate could help the country’s cause by stepping aside and allowing a fresh face to be the party’s representative.

 

These dual displays of patriotism would be welcomed by most people.

It would make July birthday celebrations of all kinds more enjoyable.

 

Have a great day!

 

August: The last time I wrote an August card that revealed a jaundiced view about this dull, hot period of the calendar, my sister-in-law said she liked the month in which she was born. Isn’t that some type of bias? Anyway, now we have the first month of campaigning by Kamala Harris and J.D. Vance. What a treat!

 

The political scene will become even more heated than the weather. Be prepared for some heavy analytical lifting as facts, opinions and disinformation get tossed around like a kite on a windy day. When Harris took the baton from Biden, millions in new funding poured into her campaign coffers. For the first time in 2024, the poll numbers indicate a real presidential race is underway.

 

To that you could raise a toast. Nah! Lifting a glass for your very own birthday

is more the order of the day.

 

September: Labor Day in effect celebrates the hard-working people who get paid by the hour and for whom a union is important. With the NFL underway, its audience dwarfs that of the parade. The month sees a heating up of the baseball pennant race, the Laver Cup for tennis afficionados, Mexican Independence Day, and Grandparents Day, a personal favorite of course. On the 22^nd, we shift from Summer to my favorite season: Fall. Coolness in the air, sun shining, leaves preparing to don their colorful garb.

 

Ah yes, forgot something: schools are now in full swing, at all levels of education. How many young people are eager to return to the K-12 classroom: estimates range from 0% to a small number. College is different; the lure of the campus, friends, beer, sports, being away from home. Whatever is your pleasure, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

October: There are various items this month worth noting, but collectively they

take a back seat to the real story, which is Politics. The Presidential race features

what some might call another edition of Beauty and the Beast. Despite this difference, Trump and Harris have two things in common: they appeal to your Feelings and they avoid detail

when it comes to policy proposals.

 

If there were a Feelings barometer, it peaked for Trump at his Biden debate. Whether it peaked for Harris at her Trump debate is entirely possible. In any case, do not let the pending election

spoil your special day –  have a purple drink to celebrate.

 

November:

My approach to birthday cards is to write one version and use it throughout the month.

This November poses a challenge in that regard. Who can think about the deep inner meaning of  daylight savings time or the pending joys of Thanksgiving — family, friends, too much food, excessive drink, never ending football – when the course of a nation is at stake.

 

My November card to those whose birthday was before the election therefore has verbiage not seen in the card written after the verdict is known. This early card has to focus on the hope that there will be no bloodshed or vindictive actions taken by the losers.  My fingers are crossed.

 

PLEASE — HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

November: DONALD TRUMP HAS WON THE ELECTION. SOME OBSERVATIONS:

 

The coastal elites will cry in their white wine while middle America celebrates with beer.

Putin is placing a call to Trump in order to negotiate his Ukrainian miscalculation.

Hispanics voted in record numbers for Trump, an interesting juxtaposition

to immigrants being fearful of their status.

 

Corporate America as always will meld with whatever the new regime emphasizes.

Some of the Mideast aggressors will go into stand-down mode, at least for now.

The stock market will be hard-pressed to repeat its multi-year run that began when Trump won the first time around.

 

The Federal Reserve will be discomfited, as it continues to struggle with proving the relationship of its money management to broad economic/inflation trends. Those who are fearful of the dissolution of democracy will be surprised that the country will survive, as it has prior Presidents who were of questionable intelligence and integrity.

 

A few people will discover that their vacation home abroad is usable for an extended stay.

The rest of the world will be shocked at what they perceive as a crazy outcome; some may look inward at their own shortcomings. Squabbling in Congress will be endless: four years of bickering and name-calling.

 

There will be renewed criticism of the Electoral College system (even though Trump won the popular vote as well); how judges, from local to the highest level, obtain their positions; the on-going role of misinformation, aided by social media; and the constitution which heretofore has served us well. Many fingers will be crossed that no violence ensues.

***

Whether you hoist a drink in happiness or sadness over the election outcome, no restraint is required – unless you intend to drive that is. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!             

 

December:  CHRISTMAS WISHES, I HAVE MANY. SOME ARE RATIONAL, SOME A BIT ZANY.

 

The Democratic Party understands why it lost and shifts gears for the 2026 elections.

Trump has an epiphany and realizes that the USA is not a personal plaything.

Putin becomes convinced it was some bad vodka that led to his tragic excursion into Ukraine.

 

Israel and Hamas decide to stop the killing and free the hostages.

The Supreme Court voluntarily establishes term limits of 25 years.

NBA coaches accept that not only can’t they teach height, they can’t teach heart either.

The border is made real and all DACA individuals receive green cards.

Like that chicken place, we take one day a week off from commercial activities.

We reserve labels for clothes and ban them from identification tags on people.

We extend school choice to those with thin wallets and make Education the Civil Rights issue of our times. We drop GDP growth as the holy grail of progress; we are destroying the planet.

Let’s have a Happiness metric instead!

 

MOST OF ALL, I WISH YOU A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY!

 

December.2: I hope your special day brings you great pleasure, and the entire month

of December is full of joy. Celebrate the diversity of the holidays and of this unique country, with all its faults.

 

While your physical gifts will be welcomed for sure, it is the gift of you which has lasting value.